Silicone: not just for strip clubs any more

After I'm done laughing about the irony of titty bars being referred to as "Gentlemen's Clubs," I will address my current bike issues.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! <SNIFF> Okay, I'm done now. Really, I am. "Gentlemen." Snork.

So I was heading out a couple of weeks ago, and the R65 known as Zombiecycle died right at the bottom of the hill. It was as if all life had fled, and so it was. Pushed it to the curb, where the helpful guys at Mission Bay Automotive came out and discovered no spark in the spark plug cables, and nothing from the coil.

So I got the beast towed home for free (one dollar a month extra and worth it!) and retested stuff. The coil still said it was dead. I ordered a replacement from Stonestreet's Beemer Stash. If he ain't got it, he can get it. If he can't get it, they didn't install it on BMWs. True fact!

Damn shame there was no tech day scheduled. Cuz everyone on the hill sees me working on it and has to comment. Replacing the coil wasn't all that hard. Fired up the bike, no problemo! But then...the old gaskets Stoner warned me about a year ago finally started to fail. How did I know?

I washed the damn bike before installing the coil! Suddenly there's oil again. Stoner says the heads are slightly warped, recommends silicon gaskets. I find them on the internets. They come without instructions. The Internet says that these gaskets are dicey unless you get the pressure on them just right. And, if they leak, you must remove the valve cover again, clean all with solvent and reassemble.

So I had a leak from the left valve cover. And my scientific method of adjusting screws a quarter turn at a time doesn't work if you have to remove everything and clean it. After about the 4th time, and pondering this problem, I think I got it.

The problem with these things is, they're counter-intuitive. If the gasket is wiggling out of the gap, obviously the nuts are too loose. Or the operator has a screw loose, as in this case.

Compress them too much and they ooze out like some sort of garden mollusc. But, if you back off on the nuts, the gaskets slide neatly back into place. Clue!

Final assembly; I crank hard on the center nut before adjusting the two small 6mm nuts on the outer valve cover. Let it sit in the garage overnight with fresh paper under it, like a new puppy.

It piddled out a teaspoon. Since it was raining, I changed the papers, hoping it was just excess from assembly. Next day, another teaspoon of oil. THAT'S IT! says I.

I went down to the auto parts joint and got some non-hardening gasket sealer. That'll show it!

Well, it did. The leak stopped and I didn't even open the package. I've left it near the headlight as a reminder, but the leak must have just been excess dripping off the valve cover.

Swell. Now the bike is good to go. Only, it's raining again! :(